Today, at my apartment in downtown San Francisco, I can sense a major shift in the air, a fog that’s been looming over me since I came here is seeming to drift away.

This city introduced me to billboard ads that said “we’ll replace your workers for $100/mo”, it has also introduced me to the soulful aspiration of the redeemed few, the ones who give themselves fully to the craft. But of course it has also shown me the noise, the flocks of self promotion. I have felt all of it, the latter has been more visible, thus have weighed more on me.

As the days went by and as my palms grew drenched with confusion and hollowness, it also became increasingly apparent to me that I have started questioning my purpose for being here — this city has only been rewarding me on the basis of progress on my work and not my soul.

The “I” i (no pun intended) often refer to is a total amalgamation of what made me, what made me laugh, cry, think, tinker, pine, it’s made of all the theories and ideas that have been introduced to me from birth, I’d like to call that my soul.

My craft and inspiration comes from my soul. For the defenseless and silly, this city and its broadcasting channel (x.com) feeds off the soul of the occupant, it rarely gives back, the exact thing that people migrate here to do often takes away of that thing which made them come in the first place.

It took more than a minute to recollect my thoughts on this subject, as I’ve never really had to question if anything beyond my immediate vicinity could have been the problem, “then how did you discover this?” might someone ask — I started noticing what made me feel alive, it’s my soulful friends, and in the way they live, the whimsical love for life they carry, it’s me when I’m learning something I am deeply curious about, it’s me when I am recollecting memories of the past that had but a single sparkle of soul.

To leave on a note: “As much as a soul can be diminished, can be cultivated and refined, I would hate to live in a world where only the former is the case.”

I deeply enjoyed reading my friends’ blogs, please read :

• Instantaneous Vs Distributional Self by ethan

• zugunruhe by aidan,

Thanks to ethan, lucas nestler, francessco and swaystar for proofreading

(PS: a friend told me that I’m trying to “force colorful prose”, I don’t agree, but thats for you, the reader, to decide)